10 Things You’re Doing Wrong When Connecting to Intuition (and how to fix them)
A crow with a knowing look perched on a fence.
Tips for Psychic Communication with a Spiritual Guide
Some people convince themselves they can’t or aren’t receiving spiritual guidance. They’re making simple, common mistakes that are keeping them from recognizing intuitive guidance. Several themes have emerged in the years I have taught individuals to build their intuition and connect with guides. Here is a list of some of the most common issues people face, and how to work around them.
Most importantly, be patient and give yourself some credit. You’re doing better than you think!
Rigid expectations - People expect a big booming voice or something unquestioningly obvious. They don’t leave room to allow the experience to be different from what they think it should be.
The Fix: Allow your experience to be “right,” no matter what’s happening. Come from a place of being, not doing, and let the experience unfold without judgment. Notice what is, and see where that goes. Consider that the experience you’re having is perfect, and see where it takes you.
Want it to come as language - People expect intuition to come through as spoken word. A majority of folks experience intuition as a sense of knowing, a download of information, or images or symbols. It may even feel more like an emotion or physical sensation.
The Fix: Notice all of your experience, then describe it. Pay attention to images, sensations, emotions, shifts in energy, knowings, or other experiences. Many folks need to translate the intuitive details into thoughts and words to understand the message.
Want it to be different from your thoughts - You think you’re making it up because the thoughts sound like your own mind.
The Fix: What if your thoughts have been guided by intuition all along? People are much more intuitive than they think. The thoughts they’re sure are their own are actually filled with intuitive nudges. Don’t discount something because it’s what you would have expected or wanted to receive. Just like the above fix, you’re translating guidance into your own words, so naturally they will sound like you.
Want it to be clear and distinct - Intuition is often subtle. People write it off because it doesn’t feel strong or significant enough.
The Fix: Notice even the smallest of thoughts, feelings, or images. I can’t emphasize enough how quiet and gentle intuition can be. Practice noticing and trusting those subtle impressions.
Worried about being wrong - People are so afraid of getting a wrong message that they shut down everything that comes through.
The Fix: Don’t go in with grandiose questions or requests. Start by asking low-stakes questions and quietly notice what you experience. Get comfortable with uncertainty and don’t let it dissuade you. It’s okay not to be sure. It’s even okay to be wrong. You’re practicing!
Too much doubt - Most of us have had years of cultural doubt instilled in us. Our doubt muscles are overdeveloped, and we question or even push away the subtle inklings that come from intuition. We can even quickly write off experiences that feel right and powerful moments after they occur.
The Fix: You don’t have to pretend you believe something that you don’t. Let yourself consider the possibility that the experience might be true. Let it percolate. Begin to flex your belief muscle by being curious. Think, “What if it’s possible, it’s true?”
Too impatient - You may not get a strong, clear flow of information the first time you try. Spirit may not even answer the moment you ask.
The Fix: Know that the answer may come over time. Notice dreams, synchronicities, and thoughts that pop into your mind out of nowhere while you’re brushing your teeth. Don’t give up just because you don’t think you got an immediate answer. Keep asking and keep noticing.
Instant demands - People jump in with both feet, wanting to know their life’s purpose, experience a healing, or want an explanation for everything they’ve been through.
The Fix: Introduce yourself like a polite neighbor. Say hello. Offer loving gratitude. Take time to build an open connection before diving in with questions or requests. This helps you learn to experience the connection, so when you’re ready to ask questions, you have a solid familiarity with the way it feels. This will also lower your doubt and increase confidence in what comes through.
Being overstimulated - When some people sit down to connect, they feel nervous with a flurry of thoughts and images coming to mind.
The Fix: That’s okay. Let it come. Just sit with whatever you experience and consider it part of the practice. Remember, what you resist will persist, so don’t push it away or try to suppress it. Welcome whatever comes, and things will naturally calm down. It’s similar to feeling anxious on a first date. It may feel awkward at first, but if you keep hanging out with that person, you’ll start to relax and enjoy the developing relationship.
Fear of connecting with something bad - If this is your first time connecting with spiritual guidance outside of an organized religion, you may feel adrift in the unknown or have preconceived fears.
The Fix: Your intention is key. State with certainty, out loud or in your mind, that you intend to connect with your highest level of guide or Spirit helper. If it feels better, make your intention to connect to your Higher Self or an angel. Whatever feels safe and comfortable for you will support a loving connection. Follow your gut feeling. You should feel things like protection, love, or support from your guide.
Bonus suggestion!
Being too serious - People get intense about spiritual practice. The energy of intensity stifles intuitive flow.
The Fix: Many of the world’s most spiritual people smile, laugh, and joke often. Watch videos of The Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, or Eckhart Tolle. They are playful and light. Approach this as a joyful practice you get to try again and again. Enjoy the moment as it unfolds, like getting to know a new interesting friend.
Extra Tips for Intuition
A key factor for getting in touch with your spiritual intuition is to make it a routine practice. Find a regular time and place where you can be quiet and connect. Sensory elements can help you shift into a meditative space that feels sacred, such as burning incense or lighting a candle. You might say a prayer or mantra to open the energy and set the intention. Take some clearing belly-breaths to cue the mind and body to relax and open.
More than anything, keep it up. You wouldn’t sit down at a piano for the first time and expect to be a virtuoso. This is a practice. Let your curiosity and intrinsic motivation lead you as you continue to show up and see what happens.